If you don't like reading about people complaining about short term results in poker like morons, stop here. This is a release for me and I need to vent this stress and it's my blog so i'll do what I like.
< begin rant >
Yep, that's right, your pal Toast is still caught in the land of unprofitable poker players. I hate posting negative stuff to this blog but there's zero good stuff to say right now.
Here's the graph of this month so far (all limits).
I'd post something interesting or witty about the game, but i'm not sure I know how to play it anymore. You'll notice that i'm absolutely break even this month which is nothing to complain about for most people but I know now that it's not variance making me "not win". Tonight I called off my whole stack calling down a tight player with TPTK knowing full well I was toast and not wanting to believe it. What sort of idiot refuses to go with his gut for this long? Then I tilted off $65 trying to bluff one of those players that I know can't fold. There's no explanation other than I wanted to win a hand badly enough to try it and of course failed.
I'm sick of it, aces losing, kings being second best, no sets to be found and no profit when they are. I'm winning money by grinding it out with smart poker and losing it by playing dumb poker -- there's no other explanation.
I'm officially a poker idiot. I study my books every day, I read 2+2 every single day, I think about yesterday's plays every day and I still can't bring myself around to fold when I know I should. For anyone uninitiated with my last month and a half, i've been basically breaking even the whole time. Yeah there's some variance in there, but look at that graph.. that's not just variance, there's some good in there along with bad.
I am an amateur player on the cusp of being "good" at the game which makes me dangerous to myself. I'm smart enough to be tricky and doing 2nd level thinking because I know enough now to play better players but can't figure out how to play ABC only against the normal party idiots. If only I was happy playing normal ABC poker I'd be winning right now but I keep thinking that the other player is thinking about what I've got -- AND THEY DONT BECAUSE THEY SUCK AND I KNOW THIS.
So yeah, I've got 60 table hours in between jan 1 and jan 15 and i'm lucky to be even and it's my fault i'm spinning my wheels. I need to refocus and fix my attitude because it sucks right now. I'm expecting to lose with my big hands and make nothing with my monsters and that's not good poker.
Welcome to tiltsville, population me.