Monday, February 26, 2007

LOL Donkaments!

LOL Donkaments

A little history on "lol donkaments": Long ago on a message board over at 2+2, a poster created this phrase to mock the stupid tournament players. It was an instant sensation.

In the midst of the fun, BBV forum at 2+2 offered the famous Barry Greenstein 10k to say "LOL Donkaments" on a live broadcast. It seems that as of High Stakes Poker this evening (and the Toastman has not seen it yet so cannot confirm), BarryG has earned his money. Hah!

I assume he will probably ask the money to be dedicated to a charity should BBV follow up with the 10k as they should, but that's pretty cool.



True to a gambler's word, 2+2's BBV Forum comes through with nearly 20k in donations to Children's Inc. as of this posting and it's bound to grow quite a bit.

ANOTHER UPDATE (March 1, 2007):

BBV has crossed 30k in donations for LOL Donkaments / Greenstein. It's amazing how these poker players have followed through not only with paying off their deal with Barry G but go above and beyond to donate to a good cause. Kudos to Barry G for setting a good example and touching off this campaign.

Children Inc is where all the money is going, FYI.
Barry Greenstein is the trigger-man on this whole deal.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Poker Hand O' The Week March 1, 2007

Here's an interesting line which is new for me. I'm trying to work on the whole 'play the player' thing rather than the cards and so far it has been good for the bankroll. +$450 in Feb through 1600 hands puts my bankroll back in better waters.

So yeah, here's my hand O' the week for the last week of February, 2007.

Party Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $ BB (6 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from (Format: HTML)

BB ($51.15)
UTG ($49.50)
MP ($138.36)
Hero ($82.38)
Button ($36.72)
SB ($50)

Preflop: Hero is CO with 5h, 6h. SB posts a blind of $0.25.
UTG calls $0.50, MP calls $0.50, CO raises to $3, Button calls $3, 2 folds, UTG folds, MP folds.

The table was generally loose passive. The players in UTG and MP were limping a lot pre-flop and folding to my raises so I decided to take another one with one of my favorites, middle suited connectors. Unfortunately Mr. Button did not agree with my theft and decided to take a flop. He has been loose and seems to be stealing.

Flop: ($7.75) Jd, Qs, Ac (2 players)

CO bets $6, Button calls $6.

An interesting flop. I hate to leave my children out there even though I have no hand no draw and I'm hoping he folds to my nearly pot-sized flop bet. He calls, I'm done with it.

Turn: ($19.75) Jc (2 players)

Hero checks, Button checks.

He did call, so i'm done with my hand, I check the turn and he checks behind. Why would he check behind? A Jack would want to get value out of an ace thinking he's bluffing having trips... OR he's doing that slowplay thing with a monster which you see so often at the low limits.

River: ($19.75) 7c (2 players)

Hero checks, Button bets $3.5, CO raises to $18, Button folds.

On the river, I could not decide which he was doing so I check again giving up on the pot. If he checks behind I lose and that's fine. If he bets half pot or more, he's betting for value and trying to milk some chips out of me. But this small bet seems weak like he knows he can't win without bluffing but can't pull the trigger with a real bet. I make my read, I stick to it, and I was right -- this time.

Final Pot: $41.25

Sunday, February 18, 2007

50NL Bankroll Building...

I think i'm playing below my skill level but definately not below my bankroll since I left myself only $500 online before the whole US Neteller problem... was nervous what can i say.

Anyways, I finally get a couple hours in at full tilt tonight. I start out by getting no cards and bluffing off $65 $10 at a time over a hundred hands or so, then I crawl back to even when I flop a flush and get bluffed at myself (wee!). I'm sitting on $140, about $30 profit when this hand comes up:

Full Tilt Poker
$0.25/$0.50 No Limit Hold'em Ring Game
4 Players

BTN: $38.60
SB: $97.95
BB: $38.45
Hero (UTG): $145.85

Preflop: 2s As ($0.75, 4 players)
Hero raises to $1.75, BTN folds, SB raises to $4, BB folds, Hero calls $2.25

Flop: 4h 5c 3s ($8.5, 2 players)
SB bets $4, Hero raises to $12, SB calls $8

Turn: 4h 5c 3s [Ac] ($32.5, 2 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $15, SB raises all in to $82.20, Hero calls $67.20

River: 4h 5c 3s Ac [Td] ($196.9, 2 players)
No action

So, uhh, yeah. I ended up with just under 5 stacks on a $50NL table... haha.

The bankroll is now almost doubled to something respectable... I'm sort of speechless considering I don't get many hands in these days (DAMN CLIENTS!).

Oh well, Toast is sorta back in action paying off the golf dues again :)

Friday, February 16, 2007

Our Home Game: Problems...

I would like to discuss the home-game. It has not happened recently and this makes Toast a dull boy. I asked the keeper of the game, Mr. Matty B what's up and he simply stated that there are too many ego's at work and he doesnt want to take the time to fit everyones schedules together to find a date to play at the moment. I will also note that Matt is addicted to some new football manager game (I don't deserve the description Geek compared to these guys) so I take that into the picture.

Here's the player breakdown:

Gary P doesn't like no limit even though he has more money than the rest of us and we play for peanuts ($20 max loss per hand capped). I think he feels the game doesnt fit his style and that's OK I respect it, and I love limit too but we can't play $1/$2 and keep it interesting. GP is a good guy, a "decent" player, but doesnt like to give up an edge in anything -- though i have seen him play $20 per-credit slots... hmm.

The Golf Pros have weird schedules and are mostly unavailable on the evenings we want to play together. Since there are 2-3 of them, they make up a big part of the table and we can't really play without them. They also are unable to commit to a regular time in any circumstance. They're young, they're flaky in scheduling, but more importantly they can all play cards with very different styles.

Harry is good to go. He's bored out of his skull. Seneca this weekend Harry? Harry doesnt care about money much, he just likes getting together with the guys and the Boss and he doesnt have many worries in the world outside of whipping his minimum wage minions into a frenzy of glove-cleaning goodness.

Matt is a trooper mostly but he's tired of playing Organizer. The funny thing about Matt is he has the statistical mind, guts, and time to be a huge, huge winner at the game (and im not just talking about the homegame) but refuses to accept he has weaknesses. He also is afraid of other people thinking he's a degenerate, does not want to admit he loses money sometimes even though it is normal. Matt has a hard time accepting losing in the short term and I doubt he'll make the effort to bring his game together because he's afraid to lose. Yes, I'm sort of calling him out but only because I know he's underperforming his abilities.

The part-timers: Vito, Brett, Bergen... Vito is solid, has a family thus not much time to commit to our game, and would earn at the tables if he was only allowed to play where he works :). Brett is tight-aggressive and seems to have trouble with time as well. Bergen is a maniac player and does either well or badly. Much better at NL than limit since aggression works here. All have family/schedule issues, too bad really.

If I missed anyone, my sincerest apologies.


A fun side-note to my last article on the awful, awful "The Guardian" movie was that I asked if anyone in my office had seen it. One guy who is normally reasonable with movies said "Yep, it was GREAT!". I tuned in my (limited) poker senses in to see whether this was a bluff, but in the end he definately thought he had the best hand. There goes any credibility he had.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Movie Review: The Guardian

I was at the girlfriend's parents house for dinner this evening. (Spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread if you must know) Total spoilers below, not that you should ever see this movie anyways.

After dinner, her sister throws in a movie called "The Guardian", and I settle in for a movie with Kevin Costner and... yeah... Ashton Kutcher. To say I didn't expect much would have been an understatement but Costner pulls something good out of his ass once in a while so who knows.

The movie begins with Costner losing his best buddy on a mission in the Alaskan seas... gets assigned to train some recruits... and then moves to the training school. Like most military training movies before it... there are a couple hardassed drill instructors, the cheeky smartass recruit (guess who that is in this movie?). They included a few interesting things they do at Coast Guard training so it kept me sort of interested. Costner's the lead instructor of course.

Let's cut to the chase, l'est my review drag on like "The Guardian". Anyways, that cheeky demi moore fucker Kutcher breaks all Costner's records at Coast Guard School, shtups some chick after 2 beers and a dance at the local bar (a teacher actually, why do they always portray teachers as sluts? hmm), becomes Costner's buddy, graduates and is sent to Alaska to serve with Costner in the rediculously nutty Bering Sea. They go out on a mission together, Costner freezes up, and decides he has to quit.

If the movie ended here it would be good... but... no. Ashton goes out on a mission, refuses to leave one poor bastard behind even though he's screwed, and gets himself into shit. The poor bastard he tried to save gets killed anyways and Costner has to come and save him. Then, as they're being pulled up together into the chopper the cable starts to break and costner goes for the big nap self-inflicted. Then, in a later mission for Kutcher, the guy he saves said there was another swimmer down there who said he would keep him safe until help arrived. Yeah, they made fucking Costner into a f**king ghost who guards people against the sea. Are you f**king kidding me? I wanted to vomit.

Costner wasn't even awful until the end. Then he became a f**king ghost. Kutcher is the same smartass f*ck he always is and that you expect from him.

You want a normal ass story line to go to hell? Take the Pesci getting beat to death with baseball bats scene at the end of Casino and turn him into a f**king ghost who haunts a casino. Jesus what are these writers THINKING?

I want my 2 hours back. Seriously. I'm sending an invoice to the stupid f*cks who made this thing for 2 hours of my time, full rate. If you need your stomach pumped for any reason, simply rent this movie for $6 and save yourself the trip to the emergency room.

Friday, February 09, 2007


Last evening I had the opportunity between the hours of 12:30am and 1am to play a few hands of online poker.

I've been playing relatively tight, a couple players at the table have left and been replaced. I decide to change gears a bit and start raising light which wins me the blinds and a continuation bet takes it down.

Then I get AK suited UTG with ($50ish).

I raise to $2, looseish player in MP ($50) calls, folded to BB who makes it $8.50. Problem is, he's only got $23 bucks left after this and is relatively new to the table. I went with my senses that this might be a squeeze and flat-called expecting him to push any flop. Surprisingly, MP behind me calls too!


Flop is 5-9-Kr with $28 in the pot.

BB pushes, I over-push for my remaining chips, MP folds.

BB flips over American Fucking Airlines of course. Yep, I'm dominated totally and I have two outs to the King-ball.

One of my outs peels off on the turn.

I actually felt bad about it (gotta hate the 2-outers, they're ususally against me not with). All i said in the window was "Woops". Instead of the normal tirade of nastiness that normally would spill forth from BB in a $50 online poker room, he said "Nh, nothing you could do".

But I'm not sure... I feel like I could have folded this pre-flop, but his $30 total stack made it too tempting when I got the squeeze vibe. I suppose I just feel shitty about getting my money in bad.

NH to BB, whomever you are. You had me.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

I pokered!

While the super-duper bowl was on, i couched it this evening and actually played poker!

50NL on Full Tilt, 200ish hands, +$70ish. Meh, not bad. Cracked some poor bugger's AA with QQ (i got it i post-flop not pre), had my flopped straight cracked, bluffed off a few bucks, you know, the usual.

Thankfully my work has let up a hair so I was able to take a few hours out... whew. Feels good baby!

I'm hoping Matt's homegame runs this week but won't hold my breath. It seems like everyone's too busy these days unfortunately.

Oh, and the super bowl was boring... again. God how i hate watching football and we don't even get the good commercials here. Waste o' time.