Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Neverending Draw

I've always played pretty low stakes at poker. At certain times I've had it in my head that I would like to build the roll and play higher and much higher, but whenever I even conceive of it I like to remind myself that I play poker for fun and the money is just a little side benefit. So, I've played for 5 years now and never played higher than 200NL online.

The truth is I've always thought of poker as something I'm a bit too attached to, and it sort of concerns me.

It's not the love of gambling, I don't get drawn to casino pits and I don't like to lose money.

It's not the love of money -- admittedly I've turned my original $100 in deposits into multiple thousands a few times over but it's never been anything that would change my life.

So, I try and keep my poker playing as an interesting hobby, and the way I do that versus making it a serious life-altering hobby is to keep cashing out. Hell, I've never had more than $5k in my roll at any one time -- that's fiddlesticks in the poker world.

I don't know if I'm wrong for taking the view I do, hell, I probably could have made hundreds of thousands from poker if I had kept growing my bankroll back in the good old days when PartyPoker and the USA were still doing business, but I chose not to dive too deep for fear it would consume me.

Maybe I just love to win, feel I can win here, and that's why I like it? I'm not sure. I even try and stay away from the game once in a while but I always come back. I'm guessing I'll never lose that. As long as it feels good to slaughter a donkey, I'll probably keep giving it a shot.

I played Matt in a series of $10 heads up sit-n-go no-limit hold'em matches last night for the first (and possibly last) time. I know Matt's game quite well now, and I think he's still a bit baffled by my thought patterns -- I'm a bit crazy when I play I guess but it makes sense to *me*. It started out with the usual coolers (AA v QQ preflop) and became an all out war, which is what great, brilliant poker should be. I think the final score was 15 - 7 for me so I definitely got the best of him and was helped by a few suckouts along the way. But the war, the little snipes and big swipes at each other... the bloodletting... that stuff is FUN.

I guess this post won't mean much to anyone but me, but that's what's going on in my head regarding this silly game. Hopefully it was a better read than my last one :)

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