Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The lengths I'll go to...

I am normally a passive person. I do not look for confrontation, in fact, I mostly avoid it. This is good and bad.

However, one area where there is constant confrontation is between Matt and I. For some reason we're pretty competitive... I'm not complaining. It's fun to want to beat the living crap out of someone at whatever you do where it's not about money just pride and bragging or shit-talking rights.

For example, last weekend we played 9 holes skins with carryovers, I led after 2, was up one after 3, was up 3 after 5, 2 after 6 when my ball plugged, carried 7 and 8, and lost on 9 when the bastard got up and down from the sand. Oh how painful it was to hand him a freaking dollar coin which he promised to use as his ballmark next round to remind me of his victory. BASTARD

Fortunately, I'm actually better than him at the poker table (at least I think so). It's hard to talk Matt into playing poker at the same table as me these days, or at all for that matter. I'd play him heads up for a buck a game if I thought there'd be blood on the floor just for the competition, but alas it rarely happens. Fortunately tonight was one of those nights where he let his guard down and got talked into playing... muwaha.

So tonight i've made a few good hands, set of jacks and four of a kind and got paid on both against other players. I've run my $40 into about $120, then lost a bit, then won a bit. You know how it goes. Anyhoo, Matt is playing tight, winning a bit, and I decide I want to felt him.

Note to the poker laymen in my audience, to "felt" someone means to take all their money. So, I do a visual inspection of his chips and count him as ahead $14. While we're both out of a hand I say "Matt, what are you up? about $14?" He replies with "I dont know" obviously not pleased i'm counting him down. I say "I just need to know how much I need to steal from you so you end up a losing player for the night again". Ryan the Golf Pro beside me chips in "Haha what an asshole thing to say".

Anyways, I'm hoping beyond hope that this puts him on tilt so I can "felt" him. Unfortunately I can't mark my golfball with his $20 bills else you know I would. Unfortunately, I think my "Mike The Mouth" impression worked too well as he bluffed off 90% of his stack to another player with second pair shortly after. He pushed soon after that with junk and "got felted" by another player.

He said "you happy now?" as he got up from the table. Hmm, no actually.

I wanted that money to mark my ball.

Tilt it off to ME! Matty didn't say goodbye tonight, I think he's pissed.

And those are the length's I'll go to.


Matt said...


Actually, I DID say goodbye but I think Harry was the only one to acknowledge it.

And if you think the reason I lost the money at the end was because of something you said, well, then you have quite the high opinion of yourself.

Quite simply, I made a bad read and lost big. I should have shown more patience but that's why I'm not a good poker player.

Toast said...

I reiterate,

I wanted that money to mark my golf ball with.