Well, I've matched my worst day of poker losses tonight. Through 1k hands (the majority lost in the first 380 or so) I dropped $350 which is 3.5 buyins at 100NL for the math challenged readers.
The last time this happened to me, I was being watched by someone in the same room, and I was pretty pissed to say the least. Losing a lot of money quickly seems to be much harder to overcome mentally than losing a buyin here and there.
So here's where the mental part comes in...
There was definately a feeling of stress and tightness rising in me as it lurched over the -$300 mark. It's pretty ugly to lose that much in like an hour of play. Fortunately, i've been here before and I remember how it felt. Dropping a buyin by stupidity the other night pissed me off far far more than losing $350 this fast so I'm really getting better. I shut down Party, stood up, went and watched TV and surfed sites for a bit after 400 hands (down $320 of it at that point). After relaxing for a few minutes I found I was ready to get back into it, and played very well for the rest of the evening ending down $30 more through a run of bad luck. KK losing to AJ pre-flop and flopping trips with 89s and having to lay it down to serious heat... just wasnt going my way.
So, I'm pretty happy that the number doesn't bother me too much anymore. I think that means I'll be able to progress up the limits as/if my bankroll grows and I'm sure it means i'm maturing as a poker player to be able to lose, avoid tilt, and re-join the game playing strong poker.
That's it for now. I wish you better luck at the tables than I had this evening. Toast OUT.